There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
