used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
