My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
