Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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