Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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