TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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