i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
