3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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