she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
