We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
