you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
