Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize