remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
