How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
