I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
