Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
