But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
