so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
