just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
