A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
