I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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