You don't have asthma, your pregnant
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just found puke in my bra..
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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