I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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