I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
