I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
