Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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