i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
