I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
