Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
