need another drink. this is the easiest way
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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