dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
