She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
