I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
