After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
