how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
