woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize