I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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