I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She's the barista slut.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
