I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
there was a trapeze. enough said
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
