We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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