he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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