So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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