Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
