I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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