So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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