i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
