Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
