Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
