I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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