apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I need a beard to bite.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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