Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
