good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
