Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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