ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
