I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
