420 ftw
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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