I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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