hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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