My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
