Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
