i can't believe i had my finger in that
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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