you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
