If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
