We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
