Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
