with your own penis?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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