I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
