i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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