apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
